Dear Mr. Lee,
Thank you for writing in to tell us the problems you faced with the use of your new machine.
At KSE engineering, we pride ourselves as a provider of good after sales services. As such we will try to arrange a service appointment asap.
However, as you did not state in your previous email to us what are the dates and times which our service engineers can go to your company to do servicing, the arrangement for servicing on your machine can only commence after you have do that.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Ms Sherlyn Loh
Customer Service Officer
The above appended letter is a business correspondence letter between 2 companies. KSE engineering, was writing in response to an earlier email from another company (written by Mr. Lee) which was asking for technical assistance for the purchase of a new machine from KSE engineering.
The writer of the letter started off brightly by adopting a You-attitude (refer text book page 45), as the thanking sentence had the focus on the customer who wrote in about the new machine. The letter was also concise in conveying the message which the writer intended.
However, the writer could be a little more apologetic towards the customer since they had encountered problems with the machine not long after their purchase. Furthermore, as the writer progressed to explain the problem they faced in arranging a service appointment for the customer, the tone employed (by focusing the blame on the customer’s last email) seemed to be a tad impolite. From the customer’s point of view, it must be none too pleasing since the new machine was spoilt, having to write in more than one time to arrange for a service appointment definitely would irritate the customer even more.
As such, it might be more appropriate if the writer could write in a more positive tone and to improve clarity and concreteness, offer other alternative help options to the customer. An example might be to offer several available service time slots and dates for the customer to choose from. By doing this, besides showing that KSE really had the customer’s satisfaction in mind, it might also convey the message that they are truly apologetic over the problems which the customer faced.
Hey Kenny,
ReplyDeleteI certainly agree with your comments (especially the tone on the second part of the mail) on the letter and the recommendations with respect to initiating the service time slots by KSE company.
It can also be done by stating in the mail a date which KSE company will contact the other company for an arranged appointment. "Eg. We will contact you by 29 Feb 2008 to seek an appointment with you." This ensures the other company need not reply to the replied mail and of course, increases the sincerity of KSE company in appreciating feedback from customers.
Also, i feel that maybe the addition of a subject heading would better improve the clarity of the mail.
Cheers!
Johny
Hi Kenny,
ReplyDeleteI agree with your comment that KSE engineering should use a softer approach to enquire about the availability of the customers. Instead of using the "you did not" tone,they should ask Mr Lee when is a good time for their servicemen to go down to his company, and provide a work schedule for Mr Lee to choose. Perhaps KSE engineering should add a letterhead, subject heading and date to make the letter formal. Other than that, the rest of the letter seems clear and concise.
Hi Kenny
ReplyDeleteYou have made very insightful comments by looking at things from the point of view of the customer. As with other forms of communication, I think that is the key to it - audience.
The 7Cs have obviously not been observed in the example given. Aside from that, language and tone have been grossly overlooked too.
- Christine
Hello Kenny,
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, I do feel that the company can give themselves a dateline to arrange for a service appointment instead of mentioning the word "try", it reflects rather insincere on their side. In addition, it will be good if they reduce the short forms such as the use of "asap", instead they should type out "as soon as possible".
Lastly, at the later part of the letter, it seems that the blame is being pushed back to the customer for not stating the available time for the engineers to go down to the customer's company to fix the problem. Instead, KSE engineering should take the initiative to call back and ask for the available time slot from the customer.
-JF
Hi, Kenny,
ReplyDeleteIf I am the customer receiving this email, I would really feel annoyed to see the company saying that they "pride ourselves as a provider of good after sales services" given the newly bought machine went done soon after been purchased and this email.
I feel like that even if all the 7Cs are met in this email, the tone and language used still need to be modified to make this company appear to be really customer oriented.
Cheers，
Lu
[This is from Feb 16, but I couldn't post then.]
ReplyDeleteHi Kenny,
I had an economics professor - a Singaporean, actually - who told our class a similar story. She said that there was a group where one of the group members worked really hard, but his work was so bad that it created more work for the rest of the group as they had to fix what he had bunked up. As the project wore on, they simply asked him to stop doing work, and they were happy to do this and let him get the same grade as the rest of the group. I guess you could call this the 'breaking a plate' method to getting out of work ('breaking a plate' refers to the practice of frequently 'accidentally' breaking plates every now and then to shirk dish-washing duty).
In this case, the pragmatic approach is to accept the reality that D has made very clear and leave D alone and just get it done. The group could tell the prof that he didn't contribute at the end of the project if they wish to do so.
Best regards,
Matt